Raising Curly Girls in a Straight World a Practical Guide for Mothers

The positive exposure to natural hair has come a long way.  We now have the ‘natural hair movement’ empowering black women to rock their curly hair, a wide variety of hair products that cater specifically to natural hair and educational books like Coco Loves Her Curly Hair that aims to encourage and empower little girls to love their curls.

Nevertheless, this is a tiny fraction in comparison to the many challenges mothers experience raising curly girls in a world that values straight hair.  Society's beauty standards are still based on archaic Eurocentric ideals where straight hair is considered “good hair” whilst curly hair is considered a problem.

Hair discrimination is still rampant in our society. In 2019, famous actress Gabrielle Union revealed she was fired from the popular TV show America's Got Talent because her hair was deemed “too black”. Black mothers must start instilling self-confidence in their black daughters at an early age. This is one of the main emphases of the Coco Loves Her Curly Hair book, which encourages curly girls to learn to enjoy their curls and try out cute hairstyles with their natural hair.  Mothers must be intentional with the process of teaching their daughters to love and embrace their curls.

Walk the Talk

Unfortunately, our generation grew up with extreme hair discrimination, relaxers, and the yearning for straight hair. If you always wear your hair straight or have a relaxer, chances are she will also want hair like her mama. Lead by example, and learn to love your curls. Always speak positively about your hair. Kids are always imitating their parents. Practice positive affirmations with your friends and family around your daughter as they are always listening and internalising what you say.

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Environment

What you surround your child with will influence her upbringing. Expose her to different mediums that she can positively relate to:

  • Media representation- Let her watch TV shows that feature black women who look like her rocking their natural hair. Let her watch natural hair YouTube videos of black girls trying out different hairstyles.  
  • Magazines- Let your table have magazines of happy women on the front cover wearing their natural hair.
  • Diverse educational books- Books dedicated to black girls such as Coco Loves Her Curly Hair are a great reference for mothers raising curly girls.  
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  • Black natural hair dolls- Get her black dolls. Young girls love their dolls and associate beauty with the dolls they play with.  Companies such as Mangotree Kids provide a range of beautiful black dolls as well as cultural experiences for children.
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  • Curly hair gifts and treats - Why not treat her to a hair love gift, such as the hair love package for kids by Moussolou on Etsy.  The gift box is full of hair accessories, shea butter and a diverse book that celebrates self-love. 

 

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3. Positive Affirmation

Let her associate her hair with positive words and daily affirmation about her beauty. Create a healthy environment that will boost her self-confidence and self-esteem.

4. Enjoyable Hair Experience

Most of us had traumatic experiences with hair care when growing up. Do you remember? The rough detangling, the tagging, or the smell of smoke from the hot comb (sorry)? It had a psychological effect on our relationship with our hair.

However for our little girls, give them a magical experience on their natural hair journey:

  • Let them choose hair styles that will make them feel their best
  • Let them choose styles that will encourage their personality to shine
  • Take them to the hair store as a fun trip
  • Be gentle with their hair
  • Reinforce positive affirmations when handling their hair
  • Let them learn to do their hair by letting them help you do yours

Consistently empowering young black girls to embrace their natural beauty will positively impact their experience of growing up curly in a straight world. Mothers of curly girls have the power to transform the narratives their little girls experience and how they feel about their natural hair.